Understand Your Buyer > How People Work > The Price of Polite
What is it?
The Price of Polite is all about the negative consequences we suffer when we do something out of politeness, not wishing to offend others.
How does it work?
When you don’t ask for a deposit and end up wasting time on a client who doesn’t buy, or don’t mention price and waste time creating a proposal that goes nowhere, you’re experiencing the cost of not confronting the situation. To be polite and easy going, we often don’t want to talk price, ask for a deposit or even ask for the business – but this wish to be polite and easy going can leave you with disappointment and wasted time/energy.
Whilst we don’t want to offend, we need to be assertive with buyers and clear on what we need to move forwards. To not do something out of politeness and to avoid it will nearly always cause you an issue.
How can you use it?
The next time you feel that you want to say something or should do something but then find yourself avoiding the issue so as not to offend… stop.
Remember that not saying or doing something can often leave you bearing the negative outcome. Say what’s on your mind, broach those difficult topics and make sure you don’t avoid things for the want of being polite as it will be you that pays the price…
Example:
A freelance designer agrees to a discovery call and starts sketching ideas before discussing pricing. The client seems keen, so the designer sends a full proposal – only to hear nothing back.
Why?
The designer avoided bringing up cost early because they “didn’t want to scare the client off” or seem pushy. They were being polite. The result? Time wasted, energy drained, and no sale.
Why it works (or rather, why it hurts):
Avoiding uncomfortable topics like budget, timelines, or deposits may feel courteous in the moment – but it often leads to unclear expectations, ghosting, or working for free. Buyers respect clarity, not vagueness.
How to counter it:
Instead of over-accommodating, try this:
“Just before we go any further, would it be helpful if I gave you a ballpark figure so we’re on the same page?”
or
“To book the project in, we take a 50% deposit – is that okay with you?”
It’s respectful, clear, and professional.
See also
